Right now, I feel very overwhelmed. Truthfully I sometimes think I give away so much and there is nothing left for me; when I finally have time to do what is necessary, there is so little time left. Today, I was able to do less than an hour of necessary work. I accomplished nothing. This is not the place to vent and cry, but I felt compelled to write a new prayer.
It seemed that even though I came up with a plan, it was destroyed and I have even less time than before. It’s quite perplexing and frustrating. Maybe, I took on too much. Maybe, I am not as talented. Maybe, the truth is I’m simply too old and this is what it is like to age. All of those are depressing thoughts, but to be frank I am saddened to have taken on more responsibility.
I wanted less responsibility. And due to some personal choices, I have taken on twice as much work.
So what do you do? What would you do?
I’m going to pray. I don’t have any recourse at the moment. My life will continue to be busy and hectic. It may never slow down. I’ll keep thoughts about that possibility quiet for now. However, if you feel you are carrying the weight of the world-
This one is for you.
God, giver of life. Take away the darkness that attempts to capture my soul. I feel as if though the weight of the world is crushing my shoulders, hindering my breath, stomping on my heart, killing my hope, my dreams... As I slave away to that which is necessary and unfulfilling. And those talents I so enjoy? Nothing. Not a trace. Not a spec. Oh, what has become of me? For this despair is great. I fear I have not made you proud. As I waste away... Clinging to a fantasy, of giving in, running away, leaving everything behind, simply, so I can breathe again. Oh, dear God. Listen to this sorrow. Sit besides me. Whisper to me. Shout if necessary. For I need your guidance. Your hope. That straightforward, proud, all consuming Love. I need you. Because no one else knows, My struggles as I march on the next day. The poisonous stress in my life, and all the anger, fear, and resentment it creates. But you do. You always do. [Insert petition for any particular stress in your life.] Amen.
